I will always love you
by Troyella
Summary: Another C&J story! She turns him down and he is leaving... please read!
1. Broken Hearts

Ok here is another C&J story. I would just like to thank everyone would reviewed my last story! It meant so much to me! Ok the song is "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston. The part in italics is the song!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they belong to Disney, and Meg Cabot. I also don't own the song either. But I do own the storyline lol.

I will always love you

"Wait Joseph you have to know why. It's the monarchy, Mia, my duty as queen."

"You were never just my queen Clarisse, you were the someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

With that Joseph left Clarisse in the grand hall. His world falling around him.

Clarisse tried, she tried so hard to will her tears away but she couldn't. She was in her suite drinking her nighly tea. Usually Olivia stayed to turn down the bed and fill the bathtub with hot water and bubbles. But as soon as she set the tea down Clarisse curtly dismissed her. She needed to be alone tonight.

It didn't matter anyway tonight she had showered. She had needed the cold water to rinse down her body and cover up the tears. The didn't need to be turned down, she would hardly sleep tonight.

How could she have this to him. He was the only man she ever really loved. He had been there for her, since she was crowned queen. The night her husband betrayed her, the day she found out she was pregnant, the night Phillipe died, he was there. He held her at times when she cried so hard she never thought she would be the same again. He was the only one who really knew her, everything down to her favorite color or kind of ice cream. He made her smile and laugh and forget who she was. To him it was just Clarisse.

He made his decision. He was leaving. He couldn't be around her knowing she would never be his. Mia's wedding was tomorrow and it would be the last time he saw her. He didn't know what would be harder for him, leaving and never seeing her again or staying and watching her from afar. He sat down at his desk and wrote her a farewell letter.

She woke up at 6'clock the next morning in her bed. The pillow still moist with cried tears. She got up and went to the bathroom.

Her reflection stared back at her. Underneath her eyes it was dark and puffy. Her wrinkles today seemed more defined. Her face was a little pale and with sudden horror she noticed she looked old. For years she had beautiful skin not needing to wear much make-up. Today would be a different story. It was Mia's wedding and she needed to look perfect. But even though she had some of the best make-up available nothing would bring back the blue sparkle that was missing in her eyes.

He had finished the letter. It took him the better part of the morning and now he must get over to the church before the Princess and her majesty did. He grabbed his leather suitcase from the floor and looked around the room once more. The room he had lived in for the last 30 years. He had left little signs that he was ever there. The bed was made perfectly and his small belongings were already packed away.

He walked out the door and down the corridors to her office. He knew she wouldn't be in there today and that is the reason he went in. He knew she wouldn't see the letter until tomorrow until he was on a plane somewhere half way around the world.

The room was quiet and empty. He crossed the floor to her desk and set the letter on her desk. He took one last look around and memories flooded his mind. The late night talking about security plans, the stolen kisses, the sweet nothings he used to whisper to her when no one was around.

It was all a lie now and soon he would never see her again. He stepped out of the door his heartbreaking for the millionth time in twenty four hours.

She was ready and ready early. It was only 9 in the morning. She had done the best she could and she did look presentable she thought as she stared at herself in the mirror.

Knowing that her and Mia wouldn't leave till eleven, she decided that she would go to her office and sign the remaining papers she had left from last night.

She walked down the corridors to her office. As her heels clicked on the marble she looked around. The sun was shining beautifully outside and she knew it was going to be warm today. She admired the paintings on the walls of past Renaldi's and finally coming to one of her, Rupert and the boys. She noticed how happy they all looked but them again it was on a paint picture.

She made her way into her office. She quickly crossed the floor and sat down in her chair. She noticed it right away. It was his writing, he loopy cursive.

_Clarisse_

She picked up the letter a lump forming in her throat.

My dearest Clarisse,

_If I should stay I would only be in your way_

This is my letter of resignation. I have decided that I can not continue to work as your head of security. I have found my emotions are in the way of my duty.

_So I go but I know I'll think of you every step of the way_

I simply can not stay knowing how much I care for you and knowing it is not returned. You have always been my everything and always will be. From the moment I met you I knew I couldn't live with you by my side.

_And I will always love you_

You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Years of watching you at balls and at social events has only proved that too me. But the time when you were at your most beautiful was last night. I will never forget a detail of your face or the outfit you were wearing from last night. It has been forever branded in my mind.

_Bittersweet memories that is all I am taking with me _

I still remember the night we spent together dancing under the stars a few months ago. You were like a dream. Memories have flooded me, the day I met you, the moment I feel in love with you, the late nights in your office, our first kiss, the afternoon we spent in the vaults, the day you told me you loved me. I will never forget them, they mean everything to me.

_So goodbye, please don't cry, we both know I am not what you, you need _

After years of watching and loving you. After many sleepless nights I now know what I should have in the beginning. You need to be with someone else other than me. I can't believe I am saying this but you don't need me, you never really have. The heart does things for reason that reason can not understand.

My dearest Clarisse I will miss you everyday, your smiling face, your enchanting blue eyes. I will miss you, more than you ever know. But its not meant to be.

I will always love you,

Joseph

Clarisse put down the letter with a shaky hand. Tears were streaming down her face. Her heart was breaking again. He was really leaving her.

Ok there is one more chapter to come after this if you want to. Please review if you liked it. Thanks so much!


	2. Ever after

Ok I first want to say thank to all the amazing reviews I got! I am so thankful. I am so sorry that I made this story so sad. I feel terrible. I am really really sorry. But thank you for the reviews... you really made my day!

Clarisse put on her best smile as she stepped out of the carriage. She walked up the stone steps alone, cameras flashing in her eyes, and roses falling at her feet. People from all over Genovia had gathered just to get a glimpse at their Queen and Princess. A young girl escaped from under the ropes and ran up to her beloved queen.

She handed Clarisse a handful of beautiful white flowers. Clarisse kissed the little girl on the cheek before security came and pulled her away.

She made her way to the top of the stairs and before she went inside she turned and waved to the crowd, which cheered immensely as she did.

A guard led her into the grand hall. People were running everywhere. Flower arrangement were being moved here and there, bridesmaids were trying to finish getting ready, security was running all over trying to make sure everything was perfect.

She immediately looked around for Joseph, but to no avail. With a sharp pain in her heart she remembered her had left her.

"Grandma, Grandma," Mia shouted as she rushed across the floor. She was in her full outfit and she had never looked more beautiful thought Clarisse.

"Grandma the wedding starts in one hour and I think I am going to be sick," Mia announced as Clarisse giggled slightly.

You could see it in her eyes Clarisse thought. She was nervous, and frantic, and so not in love.

Clarisse took her grand-daughter by the arm and led her into a small side room, away from the chaos in the foyer.

"Mia, Clarisse wrapped her arms around the young woman, "I just want to tell you how much I love you and how fond I have grown of you." Clarisse smiled.

"You know you are going to become an amazing queen and will lead the people of Genovia into the 21st century. Mia I am so proud of you."

Clarisse smiled as tears came to Mia's eyes. "Thanks Grandma you really have no idea how much that means to me."

For a few moments neither said anything, they didn't need to. "Hey, Mia said, I haven't seen Joe at all the last days. Where has he been?"

Clarisse swallowed back the lump in her throat, and tried to blink back the tears. But it was her voice that failed her.

"He... he left," Clarisse choked on her words behind tears.

Mia had suspicions of her grandma and a certain head of security. She had never confronted either of them and hadn't told anyone.

"Oh grandma, I am so sorry."

Clarisse eyes were sad. " Its ok... it really was my fault."

"Oh," Mia looked taken aback. She had known her grandma for five years and she had never seen her like this, so vulnerable, so unsure of herself, so in love.

Mia moved foward and hugged her grandma. "Its ok grandma. He will be back."

"No I don't think he will be this time."

Clarisse stepped out of the embrace looking lovingly at her grand-daughter. "Its your wedding day Mia, don't let me ruin it."

Mia started to protest but Clarisse held up her hand to stop her. "Now you get out there and marry that lucky dude."

Mia's eyes widened with shock. Did her grandma just say dude? Clarisse giggled at the young girls surprise.

"I love you so much Grandma."

"As I do my love, as do I."

Mia turned and walked out of the door with a quick wave.

The sun was glaring in from the high window. Clarisse walked over to the large mirror surrounded by flower vases. She straightened her hair and tried to put on her best "queen" smile, but it failed her.

She fell to the soft carpet in grief. Her knees hugged up against her and sobs racking her body, Clarisse Renaldi Queen of Genovia, cried harder than she ever had in her life. Her sobs were quiet but made her body shake.

She wanted to marry him so bad and she knew it. Why whenever he got close to her did she push him away. This time he wasn't coming back. She really was the Ice Queen.

She didn't even know he was there until he said her name. It was so soft and gentle it broke her heart again.

"Clarisse," Joseph's eyes were filled with helplessness.

Clarisse quickly stood up and brushed her hands over her eyes to attempt to clean herself up. "How long have you been here?"

"Too long, I have been watching you cry," Joseph's words were filled with so much emotion. "Why did you say no?"

"What was I suppose to say Joseph? That I want to be with you forever and ever. Until we both grow old and die together," Clarisse yelled at him her voice raw from crying.

"Yes," was his simple answer. She adverted her eyes from him. She couldn't look him in the eye.

"I want to be with you forever and ever," he crossed the floor. "I want to watch you wake up in the morning, I want to hold you on cold winter nights and know you are mine, I want to sit by the fire and drink hot chocolate with you, I want to travel the world with you, I want you to be mine. I always have."

Clarisse looked up as he stood in front of her. His eyes were puffy and by the dark circles underneath, she knew he hadn't slept well last night.

" I want to be yours too," Clarisse said suddenly. She couldn't take it anymore, she didn't want to sleep alone anymore at night, wondering what tomorrow would bring.

"But," Joseph said.

"But nothing, I am so sorry I took advantage of you for all these years. I have ignored your love for so many years. I don't deserve you but for some reason you keep coming back to me."

Joseph's eyes widened with shock. He couldn't believe this she wanted him to be hers.

"Joseph am I too late to ask for your hand in marriage?"

It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders as he picked her up and spun her in circles. Giving her the kiss that would make any queen blush.

"Well I thought you would never ask," he said in between kissing her lips.

"Finally," was the only reply he got from her.

Well thats it! I just want to say thank you for all the reviews! I hoped you liked it and if you didn't you can tell me too! I just hope I didn't bore anyone with this story! Thanks again!

I couldn't find my heart the other day, and I realized you had stolen it


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